Sometimes You Just Need a Good Laugh!

Sometimes a day can seem to drag on and on. Patients come and patients go and it can be a bit boring.

Why not lighten up your day as well as the patients’ or clients’ by adding some humour? The following are some fun (and clean) jokes that were online. (There are millions of these if you run out … go look for your own brand of humour.)

Here you go:

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, “Only take one. God is watching.” Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

What do you get when you cross fishes with elephants?
Swimming trunks.

A new student came to the class. After telling the rest of the children his name, the teacher asked, “What does your father do?”
Student: “Whatever Mom says.”

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”

Why couldn’t the blonde add 10 + 5 on the calculator?
Because she couldn’t find the “10” button.

Instead of “the John,” I call my toilet “the Jim.” That way it sounds better when I say I’m going to the Jim first thing every morning.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s okay. He woke up.

Teacher: Which book has helped you most in life?
Student: “My father’s cheque book.”

What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 150 kmh. The man eventually realizes he can’t escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, “It’s been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behaviour, I will let you off.” The guy thinks about it for a few seconds and then says, “My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!”

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Mother: “How was school today?”
Patrick: “It was really great Mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother: “Wow, they do pretty fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick: “What school?”

I wanted to grow my own food, but I couldn’t get bacon seeds anywhere.

Patient: “Doctor, help me please. Every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.
Doctor: “I suggest you try removing the spoon before drinking.”

Farting in an elevator is just plain wrong on so many levels!

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the scene of an accident.”

They say money doesn’t bring you happiness. Still, it is better to verify things for yourself.

Last Laugh

The best laugh comes from making someone else laugh. Try seeing how many people you can make smile today by passing these on. It will make you happier too!

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