Sometimes life deals you some “not so desirable” blows that can crush you.
We can be discussing the future of your practice or something in your personal life. For instance, in your practice, you may lose a very long term, key staff member suddenly. Or you get an unexpected, gigantic tax bill. Or some medical issue may present itself without warning. Like a hammer blow.
When something bad or seemingly insurmountable happens, your first thoughts can be despair or hopelessness for the future, maybe even grief. Next, you may feel that life is out to get you and no one is to be trusted. Then you may experience the “black thoughts” phase where you get a bit (or a lot) angry and start blaming and targeting others around you – lashing out to fight back against the situation. Subconsciously, you may know that you are in a bad place and that lashing out is the wrong thing to do. It won’t make you feel better to harm or upset others around you … it will add to your misery.
What to do, what to do?
Never. Give. Up.
Quote: “Never give up. Today is hard, tomorrow will be worse, but the day after tomorrow will be sunshine.” (by Jack Ma)
If you can circumvent the above process, you will recover and get back on track and deal with the situation much faster. One immediate solution is to isolate yourself from others for a short bit while you run through the gamut of bad thoughts and get back up to thinking and planning logically … you will do less harm in the process of recovery. Coming out with a plan at the other side and getting into action on it is when you can involve others.
The ideal situation, however, would be to go to your spouse or a mentor who you can talk it through with who will not judge you nor give you solutions, but instead will just listen and see you through the process. This is far more ideal than isolating yourself.
Another action that can be helpful is saying to yourself extremely positively over and over until you start to believe it and feel more causative: “I AM GOOD. I AM SMART. I AM RESILIENT. I HAVE COURAGE. I CAN FACE ANYTHING. THERE IS NOTHING THAT I CAN’T FIGURE OUT. I WILL FIND A SOLUTION. THERE WILL BE A WAY TO RESOLVE THIS SITUATION.”
The faster you can get yourself to do this action, the faster you will recover and handle the problem sanely and successfully.