Have you ever had a fight with someone where you said stupid things you didn’t really mean? Or seemed to be on opposite sides of the page? You were both so steamed that you weren’t listening to each other? Perhaps there seemed to be no possible resolution and you went away mad at each other?
On the other hand, did you ever have a major flare-up or argument and then sit down with the person later when things cooled down and found that with rational discussion, you came to full agreement on the matter? Or perhaps you found out you were always on the same page but did not communicate clearly when in the heat of the argument?
What is the secret element that brought about the resolution?
Secret Element:
Actually, there are probably a number of methods for resolving seemingly impossible arguments or differences. The secret element is COMMUNICATION.
However, there are a number of ways to restore communication when it has broken down.
For instance, if it is a “heated” [yelling] kind of argument, then the first thing is for one side or the other to say very conservatively, “Why don’t we talk about this in a little while (or name a specific time)?” Both sides need the “cool down” period, because you will NEVER resolve an argument while in the full blown heat of the moment. Taking a walk around the block alone and enjoying the weather and the people you see can give you some space and give you back some of your equilibrium.
At the agreed upon time, find a quiet space to talk. Agree that you want to come to an agreement and resolve with each other to keep cool. Agree that you will let one person talk at a time and hear each other out with manners. In doing this, you may find that you actually ARE in agreement after all and it was actually just a “misunderstanding” and that will be the end of the matter.
Sometimes, however, you may need to “hammer out” an agreement that you both can acquiesce to. We are not all the same type of person and will have different life experiences and even education and so may not actually be on the same page. However, coming to a resolution is usually still possible if you keep calm and communicate fully. The key IS communication; and really listening to the other person is a big part of communicating effectively back and forth. You may have to “agree to disagree” but once that is done, find something else to talk about that you CAN agree with each other on. End on a high note.
Harmony can still exist by simply coming to terms with each other. Friends will be friends again, and the world will bright again!
