Have you ever felt like you were standing on the brink of something bigger … ready to launch a new service, step into a new role, or chase down a big goal only to find yourself frozen by hesitation? If so, you’re in very good company.
Most of us, whether in our personal lives or our businesses, have unknowingly become masters at sabotaging our own progress. It’s rarely intentional. In fact, it often feels like we’re just “being cautious,” “keeping it realistic,” or “waiting for the right time.” But in truth, we’re often the biggest obstacle between where we are now and where we truly want to be.
What’s really going on here, and more importantly, how do you get out of your own way?
The Many Faces of Self-Doubt
Self-doubt is one of the most cunning forces you’ll ever face. It rarely announces itself as “Hey, I’m self-doubt, and I’m here to keep you small!” Instead, it disguises itself in logical-sounding statements:
- “What if you fail and embarrass yourself?”
- “Who are you to think you can do that?”
- “You’re not really qualified; someone will surely point that out.”
- “It’s too risky right now. Better wait until things settle down.”
It also loves to masquerade as busyness, such as overplanning, over-researching, endlessly tweaking without ever pulling the trigger. Or it shows up as perfectionism, where nothing is ever quite good enough to be released into the world.
On the surface, it might look like diligence but underneath, it’s often fear of not measuring up.
Recognize the Noise for What It Is
The first step in getting out of your own way is to simply notice these thoughts. Not judge them, not argue with them – just recognize them.
When your mind offers up reasons why you can’t, shouldn’t, or must delay, pause and ask yourself: Is this a fact or just fear talking?
Often, you’ll find it’s not a logical argument; it’s just a deeply ingrained reflex trying to keep you comfortable (and small). Your brain is wired to protect you from risk. Unfortunately, it doesn’t distinguish well between physical danger and emotional discomfort. That’s why trying something new can trigger the same mental alarms as stepping onto thin ice.
By learning to spot these thoughts, you start to take away their power.
Challenge Yourself on Purpose
Comfort zones feel comfortable, but they’re also where dreams go to die. Nothing significant ever grows there.
Think back to any time you accomplished something you’re proud of. Was it effortless and entirely within your comfort zone? Probably not. Growth nearly always requires stretching, failing, regrouping, and trying again.
If you want your business to grow, for example, that might mean hiring that extra staff member, expanding your marketing, or investing in systems that initially feel daunting. If you want better health, it could mean committing to a program that feels challenging or showing up to that intimidating fitness class.
When you deliberately put yourself in slightly uncomfortable situations (those that excite you and scare you just a bit) you build new capabilities and greater confidence. Over time, what once seemed intimidating becomes your new normal.
Think Bigger Than Feels Safe
A major reason people stay stuck is because they think too small. Not because they’re unambitious, but because small feels safer. You might reason:
- If I aim low, there’s less chance of failing big.
- If I keep my practice modest, I won’t have to manage more people or take bigger financial risks.
- If I keep my personal goals tiny, I won’t face disappointment.
But there’s a hidden cost. Thinking small means you overlook possibilities. You see only limitations, not openings.
When you dare to think bigger, like doubling your revenue goals, launching a bold new service, or expanding to serve a wider market, you start to notice resources, people, and opportunities that align with that vision. Your perspective literally changes to support your expanded horizon.
And here’s the truth: playing small does not keep you safe. It only guarantees you’ll stay small.
Stay Aware That Staying Small Is Often Riskier
Scaling up might feel scary. The stakes seem higher, there’s more visibility, more at risk, more to potentially lose. But ironically, staying small is often the riskier move in the long run.
A stagnant business or a stagnant life doesn’t stay safely “unchanged.” It starts to wither. Competitors pull ahead, staff look elsewhere for opportunity, your motivation wanes, or your market simply evolves past you. In your personal life, years can slip by while you keep saying, “Someday…”
By contrast, taking bold action (despite being nerve-wracking) forces you to learn, adapt, innovate, and build resilience. Even missteps teach you more than endless planning ever will.
Surround Yourself with People Who Think Bigger
Your environment shapes your mindset. If you’re constantly around people who doubt, downplay, or dismiss ambition, it becomes much harder to sustain your own. Seek out people who encourage you to push forward.
One of the smartest moves you can make is to bring in expert support. A management consultant, business coach, or even an experienced peer can give you both strategic clarity and the push you need to act. They see your blind spots, highlight your strengths, and help break down your goals into achievable steps, so you stop circling the runway and actually take off.
When you surround yourself with people who believe in you and who believe in thinking expansively, it’s far easier to believe in yourself.
Rewire Your Self-Talk
We all have internal scripts. Some are empowering: “I figure things out.” Others are destructive: “I never get this right.”
To get out of your own way, start consciously shifting your self-talk. Replace:
- “I’m not ready,” with “I’m learning.”
- “I can’t do this,” with “I’ll figure it out.”
- “I’m not qualified,” with “I can grow into this.”
And stop dismissing your wins. Celebrate them … even the small ones. Each success rewires your brain to expect more success.
The Real Secret: It’s You
In the end, the single biggest factor that determines how far you’ll go isn’t the economy, your competitors, or your team … it’s you.
It’s whether you’ll stop letting self-doubt, perfectionism, or fear run the show. It’s whether you’ll stretch beyond what feels comfortable and allow yourself to imagine and pursue bigger things.
Take a deep breath, quiet that critical inner voice, and step forward. Trust that you’ll learn, adapt, and build new muscles along the way.
Because the best part? Once you finally get out of your own way, there’s no telling how far you’ll go. And the view from the top is well worth the climb.